And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
