Having a random hookup so left but love u
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
