I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize