Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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