I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
