she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
