just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
