maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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