I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
