I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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