In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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