u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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