I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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