umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
