YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
