i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
