It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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