Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
