so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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