had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize