FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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