After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
