she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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