do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
