We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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