real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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