Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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