Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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