Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
