it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there's paper in my vomit.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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