I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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