I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
