you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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