Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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