Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
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i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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