I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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