You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
