Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
