I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ugly people sure do ruin things
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
