Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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