sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
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i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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