am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
