it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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