Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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