I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
