I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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