I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
