i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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