I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
