I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
