why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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