I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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