in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
