Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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