Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
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I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
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That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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